31 December 2022

When your pets pass on …

I began this video in 2021 and just couldn’t finish it. Since starting it, we have lost two other cats here in the US. 

With each death, I have seen the differences in how death is handled. In Korea, the vet would not allow me to comfort this sweet boy to the beyond. But there was much respect in seeing him cremated.

When my Obi fell sick suddenly, the emergency clinic allowed us time with him as he rubbed against the glass door of his cage.  As they lay his body on the stainless steel table, I whispered my love for him. He wanted to be home, but the emergency vet quickly administered the drugs. After Puck’s, I felt thankful to at least have Obi know I was with him. But when I asked to witness the cremation, I was told I would only be able to sit in my car on the grounds of the crematorium. That closure wouldn’t happen. 

I suppose everything is relative. When Jilly Boo became ill, our clinic was very mindful of how painful these moments are. We scheduled time, they administered drugs to relax her in a cozy kitty bed. Once they knew she was relaxed, I spoke with her and could see her respond to me. The vet positioned that they would administer the drug as I stroked her. I slowly saw her third lid close and her spirit left. That was the most peaceful ending. 

As I left, I knew that if I had to do this again, I finally knew how the final moments should play out. I hope that when my time comes, the world will be just as kind to my soul. 

08 December 2022

Imposter Syndrome: A Case Study in Korea

In July of this year, I was invited to present at the Third BTS Global Interdisciplinary Conference at Hankuk University in Seoul. 

While I was unable to get a video of the original presentation, I wanted to give it a chance to be seen by others … transracial adoptees, ARMYs, first generation Asian Americans. It’s important to love ourselves and to find others who understand our experiences. 


17 July 2022

I’m back, y’all.

I realize that I have been absent for some time. They say, “time heals,” but I rather believe time just allows us to reflect and learn. Recently, I have participated in two events, the Korean American Story Slam in Chicago and the Third BTS Global Interdisciplinary Conference in Seoul. The video of the story slam is below. (Thank goodness for good editing. What you won’t see is my breakdown a la Cindy Brady at the beginning.)

Sadly, the video also misspells my last name, while everything else shows the correct spelling. I know that seems petty, but that is who I am. If someone misspells my name, it shows me that it wasn’t important enough to the editor to double check. 

Thus is the curse of living this fractured life as a Korean, a Puerto Rican, and reluctantly, an American. 

The Story Slam Performance

My presentation in Seoul went very well. I recovered from the anxiety that the story slam had planted. Honestly, the participants at this conference were the healing power I needed. Eventually, my presentation will be up on YouTube. For now, you can enjoy this lovely interview the conference organizers had with Sir Paulo Coelho