22 April 2013

Asian Attraction, Part 3

Another two installments of the “seeking asian female” series called “They’re All So Beautiful” has hit YouTube.

Here’s the third episode:

This one is interesting as it asks Asian men to join the conversation about Asian-Caucasian couplings. Some Asian men express frustration in the attraction that Asian women have for Caucasian men. In response, an Asian woman says that dating an Asian man would be “like dating my brother.” Personally, I have felt the same and refer to my two best, male Asian friends as my “Big Brother” and my “Little Brother.”

In addition, one man described Asian women in this way (I believe my husband could attest to this.), “quite belligerent, demanding, controlling, and not afraid to say what is on their [sic] mind … not afraid to act independently on what they feel.” This completely contradicts the first installment that asked Caucasian men what they sought in Asian women.

The most disturbing segment of this video (in minute 4:43) is the Caucasian women’s subtleties in descriptive language of Asian women.  These two women continue to describe the couplings as “white males and Asian girls,” and “Asian girls looking for white men.” Why refer to other women as “girls”? Demeaning, belittling, and just plain name-calling, in my opinion.

Installment four goes like this:

Here we dig further into the attraction that Asian women have for Caucasian men. The culture card comes up here. Stereotypes are being flung to all parties … Asian men, Caucasian men, Asian women!

One Asian woman says that what attracts her to Caucasian men is that they are independent (exactly what an Asian man called Asian women). Now we’re getting somewhere.

We learn that the highest percentage of interracial marriages are made up by Asian women married to Caucasian men. There it is. My love for my husband plays into a statistic that proves this Asian fixation.

Thankfully, Dr. Benjamin Tong, Professor at the California Institute of Integral Studies, comes to our rescue, saying:

“Love has nothing to do with selling out on a people, has nothing to do with disloyalty. Love is something that simply happens between two people, and it can cross gender and race lines … ”

I needed that, Dr. Tong, on this, our eighteenth wedding anniversary. Love is love.


Anonymous said...

Interesting web series. Thanks for posting.

It feels like its portraying euroasian couples almost as a societal defect. I couldnt imagine a similar look at why American women are attracted to men with British accents or black men are attracted to white women, etc. etc. If two people are compatible then why search for ulterior motives?

Gary said...

Hello from Nashville, TN. I've also been following www.theyreallsobeautiful.com and I plan to post in the near future. It's somewhat disturbing to me that some folks are trying to label a white man, or any man's attraction to an Asian woman as a fetish, but hey, it is what it is. I've been married to a wonderful Vietnamese woman for 5 years now and we have a 22 and 1/2 month old daughter.

mothermade said...

Thanks to you both, Anonymous and Gary. I completely agree. And for the record, as stated in my earlier post, "Asian Attraction?" I was attracted to my husband because of other things (his British accent!). I also wonder if this Asian attraction is more prevalent on the West coast. Again, I was oblivious to this Asian fixation.

McDaddyo said...

I think mothermade has it right. This series blurs a few of the most crucial distinctions and asserts distinctions for which there is little evidence. Along the way, it promotes bigoted stereotypes right, left and center.
For example, there is a big difference between what's going on with men who are attracted to Asian women in general, and men who are ``shopping'' for a mail-order bride from Asia. The latter case is very likely to involve people on both sides of the relationship who have very few options within the marriage market. They aren't freely following their desires for one type of person over another so much as they are pursuing one of the only avenues open to them and in an attempt to make the best of a difficult situation.
As for men who have many dating and relationship options, but prefer Asian women, the picture is very different. To suggest that this is on a continuum with mail-ordering a bride is woefully off base and insulting to mail-order brides, their husbands and, indeed to women and men in general who date outside their own ethnic group.
It may seem puzzling that the filmmakers chose this "yellow fever'' angle for their project, given its basis in stereotypes and pejorative associations.
But if you listen to a few of the interviews writer/director Debbie Lum has given about her project, it becomes clear that the intent is to belittle white men as retribution for them having the audacity to flirt with her and express an appreciation for Asian women.
What puzzles me is how a film like this gets made. Didn't anyone along the way -- I see a lot of institutional backing for the project -- express concern that it was small-minded or, even, bigoted?

Unknown said...

Love is love. I'm Asian American and both my sisters are married to someone of a different ethnicity. I've mostly dated Caucasian/Hispanic women, because that's just who I prefer to date. I'm attracted to Caucasian/Hispanic women... So sue me!!!

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